3 Steps To Stop Repeating Yourself 95% Of The Time Using The Once & Only Framework
I've always hated having to repeat myself.
I'd get so frustrated in the past—"WTF do I always have to repeat myself?" "Can't people just listen the first five times I say it?" I felt like I spent most of my time reminding people of what to do rather than doing what I thought was most important.
It was stressful.
Not just for me, but everyone.
I'd spew out reminders as if I were a candy factory trying to force a child to eat all the candy.
Having to remind people is a waste of time—mostly.
If someone didn't need a reminder, they would get things done quicker, without hesitation, and without the "boss" bothering them.
Understand these two types of people.
First, some people, which is a large portion of my female-driven teams, are the ones who have a fear of forgetting.
It's an incredible thing.
They don't want to miss something important. But, when you add in multiple communication mediums and different technology stacks that perform a specific function, it creates a ball of anxiety in their brains. They always wonder, "did I forget something?"
I'm like this too.
Then, you have the Monster Managers, who, after repeating themselves a thousand times, when someone forgets, they eat them alive.
Instead of fixing the core issues of why someone isn't remembering, they wait until the pressure inside of them has built up to a concerning degree, and they explode.
That used to be me.
But you can solve this with:
The Capability Spectrum.
As a leader, the goal is to build such an incredible, capable team that you can delegate most things too.
But, when you lead a team, you must understand that everyone is different.
That's why repeating yourself can easily fall on deaf ears. For example, if you're sending out mass reminders, only 10% of the recipients will receive the message correctly.
Everything you say must be tailored for the recipient receiving the information—everyone is different.
It's one thing I struggled with early in my leadership journey. I'd try to group everyone into the same management box. I tried to herd human cattle.
I struggled until I learned how to lead people according to their capability spectrum:
The less capable someone is, the more you will have to repeat yourself.
Conversely, the more capable someone is, the less you'll need to repeat yourself.
You must understand what you can realistically expect from them.
Be clear and concise in your communication.
Now that virtual communication has taken over the world developing incredible communication skills is vital.
Essential details get lost in translation because people aren't clear, or they're not concise.
You'll have to repeat yourself more often than you'd like if you are the one delivering information and you confuse the recipients.
So, practice the 3 I's of virtual communication:
Informative: Provide as much context for the recipient without over-explaining.
Intentional: Be intentional in how you deliver your message. If it can be a quick email instead of a call, do that instead. Or, if it needs more discussion, a call is better than a message.
Inquisitive: Make sure the recipient understands your message and isn't just memorizing it. Ask questions like "So, what are we trying to achieve here?" "What can you add to this that maybe I'm missing?"
Once you understand the people you're working with and deliver clear communication, you can learn never to repeat yourself again.
Okay, maybe not everything, but most things; here's how:
Follow The Once & Only Framework
Repeating yourself should be reserved for things people can't simply read or watch.
It's for the more profound philosophical things that require repetition for people to remember and embody the lessons. That's why religion has been so crucial.
These are values, core objectives, and stories—which require repeating forever.
But for everything else you repeatedly do, just follow the once and only framework.
When you teach (or explain) something more than once, create a video.
When you write something more than once, create a template.
When you do something more than once, create a procedure.
That's it.
If you do anything once, ask yourself, how can I document this out of existence?
Then, if you need to repeat yourself, you have an asset to redirect people to.
