Emotions Make You Weak & Five Tips To Control Them
Fear. Anger. Resentment. Anxiety. Sadness. The never-ending emotional list.
These emotions — make you irrational. They make you lash out. They force you to make bad decisions.
Emotions impact ALL aspects of your life.
We're irrational creatures.
It happens to me every day, and recently, mostly frustration and anger. I try not to play into them, but some days are better than others.
We sent a $50,000 order to a supplier and they played a “business” game with us.
It was an urgent order we needed to ship to a client. The client had an aircraft accident (everyone was okay).
When we call our “supplier” they told our material team the order will be ready to ship at 4pm the next day.
The next day the team called at 4pm for shipping details and the supplier said,
“we close at 4pm.”
They played games.
Our team tried to call again to get to the bottom of the issue, and they hung up on us.
Certain people running companies are crazy.
My first instinct was to blind call them and tell them to SHOVE the order up their ass.
Yes! This was precisely what I thought, and yes, when you dissect anger and frustration, it was irrational.
Thankfully I didn't. I controlled my frustration. My anger.
We would have lost the order. Failed the client. And looked bad.
My irrationality wasn't worth it. I breathed through it, lined up alternative solutions, and made a mental note about the unreliability of this supplier.
This example happens to me many times a week. With projects. With issues. With people. Oh, the people.
In the past, I would act on irrationality.
Over the years, these are the things that have helped me control my emotions and make better decisions.
They can help you too. Here's how…
It starts with knowing you're an irrational creature.
Once you recognize your emotions, you'll start seeing through your irrationality.
You'll label it as anger and know nothing good comes from anger. When you get angry at someone, they'll get mad at you, and when you're both angry, you get double angry.
I recently got angry.
A team member was neglecting a client.
I got furious. I blew up. I lost control.
We're human, and recognizing this is the first step.
Fear is another.
It serves you well in a dangerous situation but it today's time, you're likely not roaming the forest having to worry about a tiger stalking you.
The only deadly animals I have to worry about is my wife, my sons and my ten pound weiner dog named Buster.
I think I’m in the clear.
Fear of calling someone? What can really happen?
Fear of giving someone bad news? Even if it's an honest and open conversation that will lead to a solution?
By seeing your irrationality for what it is, you can make better decisions.
Never make a decision on emotion.
If you're emotional about something, you're likely to make a biased decision.
If you're angry, you'll make an angry decision.
I've learned this many times…including today.
If you're excited about something, you'll be biased on the actual result it will produce.
Biases cloud your thinking. Emotions make you irrational.
If you're emotional about something, take the time you need so you can make a decision with no emotion, just good judgment.
This simple tip will help you make 10x better decisions.
Breathe through it.
We forget about breathing. It comes naturally. We just do it. But there's immense power in your breath.
If you feel an emotion, take a few breaths before you speak or react.
If someone says something you don't like, or that you don't agree with take five deep breaths.
Once you breathe it out, you'll be amazed at what it does to your thinking.
Adopt the 5-minute method.
This comes from Hal Elrod's new books, The Miracle Equation.
You're welcome to bitch, complain, and feel bad about an issue, but for only five minutes. After five minutes, tell yourself, "can't change it" and move forward.
This is a great approach. It allows you to get a little emotional.
To stomp your feet.
Then, get over it. Move on.
Complaining isn't going to change your situation. Action is.
Take some time to get out of your head.
Learn how to meditate.
This has a profound impact on how I control my emotions, ADD, OCD, Type-A personality, the overwhelm of introversion, and my 24/7 active brain.
Yes, I'm a mess. Thank you, very much!
And I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong.
Meditation isn’t for monks, and Silicon Valley CEO retreats.
In the past, I wasn't able to control my emotions. It felt like there was a roller coaster always running in my brain.
By meditating, I've been able to calm my mind and focus on what's most important, reducing how emotions impact my decision-making process.
This has helped me resolve million dollar issues, avoid and resolve hundreds of unnecessary conflicts, weather the storm of narcissists and complacent people, and control hundreds of other emotional situations.
Control your emotions, and you'll control your life.