If You Want To Manage Your Life, Learn To Breathe
My youngest son was screaming at the top of his lungs.
Tears rolled down his face. Snot followed the path of least resistance and joined the tear highway. His drool dribbled on the floor.
He was committed to fighting it out.
As he continued his tantrum, I went over to him and calmly instructed him to "calm down bud. What's the matter?"
He rested his head on my shoulder as I told him to breathe. As I coached him, I began to breathe myself so he could mimic what I was doing.
He got the idea and began to breathe intentionally. He breathed in and out. As he got his breath under control, he began to calm down.
The tears subsided, and he began to do the after cry shake. It's when you take a few quick inhales, as your body is emotionally bruised.
He eventually calmed down, and the cycle repeats itself when he can't control his emotions.
My oldest son has grasped the idea of breathing. The other day we talked about him getting hurt, and I asked him what he did, and he said, "I breathed like this," and he showed my wife and me how he breathed.
I want my sons to express themselves, but I also want them to learn the importance of breathing.
So far, so good.
I recently had an issue with a new technology vendor. I was committed to giving them a call to let my word of frustration fly.
Instead, I paused, breathed, and reflected on the goals we had set out for ourselves with this new piece of software.
When I breathed, it immediately helped control my emotions, which lead to clearer thinking.
I had an excellent meeting, as we discussed the resolution to the current implementation problems.
It's an important life skill to learn how to breathe while using it in every aspect of your life.
How To Breathe And Control Your Emotions
Below are several videos on how to breathe, which I've used.
They're also detailed in Ben Greenfield's book, Boundless, and what works best for me. His book is my health bible.
When you want to calm your nerves, try rhythmic breathing.
It's simple. Inhale for five seconds, then exhale for five seconds. You can increase the time of your inhale and exhale with practice.
Rhythmic breathing is excellent to calms your nerves, or to do right before bed.
I use this breathing the most, and it's what I teach my sons. It's easy to say, breathe in, and breathe out.
If you're about to lose your shit, get back in control with box breathing.
This is my favorite type of breathing.
"The deep, intentional breathing helps to regulate the autonomic nervous system and calm you down," says Ben Greenfield.
Bulletproof adds to this and explains its best to use when "you're dwelling on a stressful event like an argument," or even when "you're angry, fearful, or otherwise about to lose your cool."
Here how to do it:
Inhale through your nose for four seconds,
Hold your breath for four seconds,
Exhale through your mouth for four seconds,
Hold your exhalation for another four seconds.
It's similar to another style of breathing called 4-7-8.
Ben explains it perfectly,
“Quietly inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, then exhale audibly through your mouth, making a whooshing sound, for eight seconds. Repeat this systole at least three more times."
Alternate-nostril breathing is excellent for focus and energy.
It's a potent stress-fighting tactic that will give you a nice jolt of energy.
Here's how Bulletproof explains how to do it:
Sit up straight in a chair, or like you're meditating on the floor.
With your thumb, close off one nostril and inhale slowly and fully.
When your lungs have expanded completely, switch thumbs and nostrils and exhale slowly.
Repeat for a few cycles, then switch which nostril inhales and which one exhales.
Repeat for the same number of cycles.
Breathing is something that naturally occurs. Most of us give it little attention. But, when used correctly, your breath can help you through some incredible moments.
It can help you lift heavier, and run longer. It can help reduce stress or enter you into a deep sleep.
Your breath cannot be ignored.
Try these different styles of breathing; see what works best for you.
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